Marriage God's Way

My wife, Christin, and I were blessed to celebrate our tenth anniversary on June 6th of this year.  Marriage is the best relationship on this side of heaven outside our relationship with Christ. The purpose of marriage is simply for it to be a reflection of how Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it. In saying this, one of the best things you can give your kids is a biblical, loving marriage. I grew up in a broken home, and I understand first-hand that our God is a God of restoration and relational healing. As a disclaimer, I would say for those struggling marriage is hard, but if it’s destructive hard, seek wise counsel.

Here are a few lessons I have learned in the past ten years:

1.    Marriage Is a Classroom for Unselfishness

We are made to serve, not to be served. God uses marriage for us to become more like Him. Marriage is not intended for our happiness but for Holiness. Anytime I feel frustrated or impatient, I am reminded I cannot do this in my own strength. We have discovered that when we draw closer to God individually, Christin and I actually get closer to each other. Imagine a triangle with your spouse on one side and you on the other and God at the top. The only way to close the distance is moving closer to God.

2.    Marriage Is Mission-Minded

Christin and I made a commitment to “go and make disciples” for a lifetime together. We don’t believe God put us together to sit and soak. Don’t get me wrong. We have a ton of room to grow, but it has been a blast seeing what the Lord has done through a couple of unschooled ordinaries. My first disciples are my wife and children (1 Timothy 5:8), and then we invest our time in other couples and individuals through small group. If you are not in a small group, you need to be! You need others to care and pray for you as you walk your marriage journey.

3.    Joyful Always, Pray Continually,  Give Thanks in All Circumstances

These words are engraved on both of our original wedding rings. 1 Thessalonians 5:8 spoke loudly to us as we were writing our marriage vows. We live in a culture that says marriage is not a commitment. We have an enemy that is waiting to tear our marriage and family apart. God has used this verse to remind us to be joyful always. True joy is found in the Lord, and life is too short to walk through it miserably.

Pray continually - Always depend upon the Lord not our own strength.

Giving thanks in all circumstances - Being grateful is a weapon against entitlement and discontentment.

To close, I will share some practical application. This advice comes from Marriage in Motion, a book written by Dr. John Hobbs, a colleague and friend.

• Pray every day together – pray about your problems.

• Talk for 30 uninterrupted minutes a day - talk through your problems.

• Go on a date twice a month - get away from your problems. 

11 Local Date Night Ideas

As married couples, we should always be making date nights a priority, but for some reason, holidays, birthdays, and special events make us more aware and more excited about having a date night!

If you’re in need of a date night or you don’t have plans yet for the next special occasion, try out some of these date night ideas. It doesn't matter where you go, just enjoy spending time together!

1. Atlanta Attractions

SkyView Atlanta

SkyView Atlanta is a huge ferris wheel next to Centennial Olympic Park. From the top of this ferris wheel, you get a great view of the city of Atlanta.

Georgia Aquarium

The Georgia Aquarium is such a great experience! Walk through a tunnel under a huge aquarium filled with various fish and whale sharks. Plus, you can pop up into the middle of the home of the penguins.

Atlanta Zoo

Zoos are always a great date idea. Check out all of the animals at the Atlanta Zoo with your sweetheart!

Six Flags Over Georgia

My husband and I love going to Six Flags! Check out their website to find special events going on at the park.

Lake Lanier

Lake Lanier is not just a lake…They have water slides and lots of activities! Whether you want to relax on the beach or be active, this is a great spot for a date.

See Rock City

Although Rock City is a couple of hours away from Atlanta, this destination is worth the trek! You can hike through Rock City to see great views, and nearby, you can go way under to see Ruby Falls.

Find out more about Rock City HERE!

2. Tours

Fernbank Museum of Natural History

Fernbank Museum is fun to explore, especially because of its huge dinosaur display!

Chick-Fil-A Corporate Office

Touring the Chick-Fil-A Corporate Office may not sound thrilling, but it is a great experience! If you love CFA (like me!), you’ll be amazed at their corporate office.

World of Coca-Cola

At the World of Coca-Cola, you can see their quick production line and even try sodas from all around the world!

3. Markets

Ponce City Market

Ponce City Market isn’t a typical market, but it is a local favorite! Ponce is fun for trying various coffees and foods, going shopping, and getting a nice view of Atlanta.

Find out more about Ponce City Market HERE!

Krog Street Market

Krog Street Market offers a variety of vendors!

Dekalb Farmers’ Market

The Dekalb Farmers’ Market is very unique. This market is represented by so many countries. You’ll find a ton of cultural foods here for great prices.

Local Markets

Find your local market to try out on the weekends!

4. Gardens

Atlanta Botanical Gardens

The Atlanta Botanical Gardens has so many different sections and types of plants to see.

Callaway Gardens

At Callaway Gardens, you can walk around to see the landscaping, but you can also bike the trails or even hang out by the lake!

5. Coffee Shops

Try having a nice simple date at a nearby local coffee shop!

• Leaf & Bean

• Blume Organics

• Station Coffeehouse

• Revelator Coffee

• Condesa Coffee

OR go to a coffee tasting at Counter Culture in Atlanta!

6. Art Class

Candlefish

At Candlefish in Ponce City Market, you can learn how to make candles together!

Atlanta Clay Works

Learn how to make pottery at Atlanta Clay Works!

BE! Creative Arts Center

Create a couple of nice paintings together at the BE! Creative Arts Center!

7. Sports & Games

Top Golf

Ladies, we may not be huge fans of golf, but we know our guys love it. Top Golf is more than just golf! You can hang out and play in a more exciting atmosphere.

Escape Room

What’s more romantic than being locked in a terrifying room and trying to escape?? Go to an escape room in Atlanta!

Biking at Callaway Gardens

If you like to bike, biking through Callaway Gardens is a beautiful ride!

Biking at the Beltline

While biking through the Beltline, you’ll get to go on trails around Atlanta and make fun stops along the way!

Putt Putt at Ponce City Market

Playing Putt Putt at Ponce City Market is more than just putt putt. You get to go on the rooftop to play and hang out looking over the Atlanta Skyline!

8. Outdoors

Are you and your date adventurous? Try exploring outdoors!

• Cochran Mill

• Camping at Lake Blue Ridge

• Whitewater Rafting in Columbus

9. Explore a Different Town

Helen

Try visiting the Alpine town of Helen.

Find out more about Helen HERE!

Dahlonega

If you’re looking for a relaxed and cute town to explore, visit Dahlonega!

Senoia

Senoia is home of the “Walking Dead” tv show! It’s a super small and cute town to hang out at for the day, especially if you’re a “Walking Dead” fan.

Columbus

In Columbus, you’ll find a variety of coffee shops and restaurants as well as a nice walk along the river!

Warm Springs

Warm Springs is a small historical town that is easy to explore. There are trails nearby and small shops in the downtown area.

10. Festivals

Hummingbird Festival

The Hummingbird Festival is located in Hogansville. Lots of local food and handmade gift vendors come out during this festival.

Hot Air Balloon Festival

Check out a hot air balloon festival in Helen, Fayetteville, or in Pine Mountain at Callaway Gardens!

Flying Colors Butterfly Festival

Head over to the Chattahoochee Nature Center to see the Flying Colors Butterfly Festival.

Atlanta Dogwood Festival

Go to Piedmont Park in Atlanta to check out the Dogwood Festival. Experience art, music, and local vendors!

Taste of Atlanta

Try out local Atlanta restaurants all at once at the Taste of Atlanta! You may buy tickets and use them to purchase “tastes” of different foods.

11. Hiking & Nature Areas

There are so many hiking opportunities throughout Georgia! Check out any of these nature areas to get outdoors with your date.

• Mount Yonah – More Difficult, 4.4 miles round trip

• Chattahoochee Bend State Park – Moderate, 10 miles round trip

• Line Creek Nature Area – Easy, about 4 miles round trip

• Stone Mountain – More difficult, 2.1 miles round trip

• Pine Mountain Trail – Moderate, 4.5 round trip

• Tallulah Gorge State Park

• Desoto Falls Trail – Easy, 2.2 miles round trip

• Dukes Creek Falls Trail – Moderate, 2 miles round trip

• Anna Ruby Falls Trail – Paved, .9 miles round trip

• Panther Creek Falls – More Difficult, 6.9 miles round trip

• Blood Mountain – Most Difficult, 6 miles round trip

• Red Top Mountain – Moderate, 5.3 miles round trip

• Silver Comet Trail – Paved, 1-40+ miles round trip

Why Is Marriage So Tough?

Marriage is the most mysterious relationship two human beings will ever know. It can be the most wonderful, exciting, fulfilling, life-giving, meaningful experience a person could ever have. And, it can be the most painful, exhausting, miserable, draining, frustrating experience anyone could imagine. I once heard someone say, “Marriage is the most perfect picture of heaven and hell we will know this side of eternity.” Some might think this is a bit over dramatic, but I agree with it completely.

Why does this particular relationship have such awesome potential for heavenly ecstasy and hellish agony? The answer is at least partially found in the unique covenant that binds the two participants. No other human relationship is defined by the words “till death do us part.”

For instance, when two friends get tired of each other’s company, one or the other can leave. If the friendship continues to deteriorate, it can be dissolved immediately by one or both of the parties. When a person becomes frustrated with a boss or co-worker, he can always tender his resignation. A teacher and her pupil only have to endure each other’s company for so long before the semester mercifully ends. Good Christian people, who find themselves sitting on a pew every week with someone they believe even Jesus wouldn’t like, can always find a new congregation in which to worship. The home of origin is a little more difficult because it lasts longer, but even in family relationships there is a light at the end of the tunnel called high school graduation. Marriage is the only human relationship designed to last forever.       

The binding covenant is not the only factor that makes wedded bliss difficult. Usually the two individuals involved are as different as they can be. Take the two very different genders, male and female, and place them together. Already there is potential for disaster. In most cases this male and female have completely opposite personality types. Seldom have the couple been raised in similar families or taught compatible beliefs. Each person enters into this new relationship with unbelievable and unrealistic expectations that seem completely feasible in his/her own eyes. Neither of them may have had any training in anger management, communication skills or conflict resolution, and most have no experience or understanding when it comes to financial matters. To make it worse, probably in most cases neither of them had very good role models growing up. They may have a limited support system to turn to if things deteriorate. 

One would think that Christian couples, having a common bond in Christ, would find married life easier to navigate. However, most statistics don’t support that conclusion. Being a believer, and even being raised in the church, do not seem to be enough to create a happy, healthy marriage. These Christian couples face the same struggles as those who have not accepted Christ, and their belief system alone does not give them the marital direction that couples so desperately need to survive and thrive. The church, while all along insisting that divorce is wrong, has not done a very good job training couples to live a lifetime together.

Marriages are constantly changing. Like riding a bicycle, it is impossible to just sit still. People are either going forward, or they are going backward. Marriages are either getting better, or they are getting worse. They never remain the same. What are we doing to help our marriages move forward toward what God intends them to be?